just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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