I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
