Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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