and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
