I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
