girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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