wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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