Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize