It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
