Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The uberlube is also flammable
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
