the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Randomize
