her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
