Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
