Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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