Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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