To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
