not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
