is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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