went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
