all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
