I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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