I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Enjoy the penises
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
