how can u be prego again
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize