So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
