come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
