What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
