He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
