hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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