apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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