I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
