Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
