You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
