The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize