I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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