it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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