You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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