don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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