you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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