We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
