I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
