at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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