Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
