you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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