Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We need to rekindle our bromance
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
