He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
