Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
