Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's the barista slut.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
