Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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