No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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