what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize