this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she pinky promised me she was 18
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My life is pants optional.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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