you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
