I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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