I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have tasted many bathrooms
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
