I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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