I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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