Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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