So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
