Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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