Pappa wants mamma naked
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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