My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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