dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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