How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
