My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
